User Profile

Hi. Im 17 years old and have had an ed for about a year consistantly and 6 years on and off.. My life.. my life is buisy, hectic even, well compared to my friends, i chose to keep myself busy, no time to eat, no time to think. It makes it easyier. I am a horse rider, i have 3 horses in full work, that takes the majority of my time. I am competeing at a suprisingly high level too. I have been selected to be privatly coached by a man who coached the olympic team a few years ago, im his only student. It puts alot of pressure on me to be perfect. Im sure a lot of people know that feeling, needing to be perfect, not wanting to let people down. I also play the flute, i've been playing for 4 years, and i am doing levle 8 ameb, if that means anything to you. it is the top ameb level, there are 2 more levels above it, but not ameb. Most people dont get to level 8, i am happy with that, but i have a lot of pressure to continue to improve. Thats my life pressure pressure presure. Its no wonder i have found myself on a site for people with eating dissorders. My parents are never happy with me, they always point out where i went wrong, then top it off with the "when i was your age thing". My general life starts at 5 am. i run about 5 k every day then i work a horse, then get ready for school. After working my arse off all day at school i come home and ride another horse and then do my homework and practice the flute, i go to bed about 12 so it means i only get about 5 hours sleep a night. I like to try and see how long i can continue without food, i can go a full week on black coffie without passing out. I havent passed out yet, i would like too. I have a bf. Who is always dissapointed with me, i am always doing something wrong. Its no wonder that he is not the person in my life that i confide in. However i am remaining with him because if i loose him i have no one as the person i confide in is one of his friends and i wont be able to talk to him anymore. I gave up all my friends for my bf now i have no one else. I am here tho because although my friend is good to talk to and he stops me from killing myself he knows nothing of what it is like to have an ed so its not the same. Thats me, i also try hard at school, my parents arent happy unless i get straight a + 's and im doing straight maths and science. So i really want to have some people to talk to who are like me, who know what its like.

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